[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: The Smart Bet
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Miles/Alfons
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,450
Warnings: brief language; CANONSMASH!
Prompt: SOULMATE AU, BRO
Summary: Miles is a soldier and a pragmatist – not a gambler, not a dreamer, not a fool.
Author's Note: A late birthday present for the captain of this beautiful ship. ♥

People don’t usually ask questions—and when they do, they rarely ask the right ones. )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Magnitude and Force
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Hei/Ed
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,220
Warnings: language; modern AU; schmoop; please explain this "editing" of which you speak
Summary: [Sequel to The Worst Trip Ever, because ideas are hard.] Ed has a lot of uncanny talents, one of which is making things that should be stupid turn out great.
Author's Note: Some Alfons for my Alfons! Happy birthday, kid; I love you. ♥

“Hey,” Ed says.  “Can I tell you a secret?” )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: The Worst Trip Ever
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Alfons/Ed
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,100
Warnings: modern!AU; quasi-alt spoilers for CoS, I guess? XD
Summary: Alfons and Ed are on a road trip, and it is terrible that it's so great.
Author's Note: Happy birthday speedfic for my Saaaaaaaammyyyyyyyyy. ♥

As it turns out, this road-trip-with-the-best-friend thing was about the single worst idea Alfons has ever had. )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Tell Me That We'll Always Be Together
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Miles/Alfons, Roy/Al, ???? Ed/Lan Fan ????
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 14,175
Warnings: language; more language; Al being seriously questionable and slightly illegal; kicking Alfons while he's down/angstorms with a chance of absolute destruction; modern!AU
Summary: In which the best thing that has ever happened to Alfons goes horribly, horribly wrong.
Author's Note: This is based on two sorta-separate headcanons Phindus mentioned almost a year ago – I instantly fell in love with both but just never quite got to writing them, 'cause I'm lame. So now I've combined them, but the thing is that Phin told me it all ended okay but at the time didn't specify how, so I had to improvise. Which never goes well. :| tl;dr, I just… miss this 'verse, and everything it meant, and everything we built, and I got so emotional about it that this fic got really emotional, too. Also I listened to the song you'll get to in about 10,000 words on repeat at lunch for three days straight, which… wow, Tierfal. Wow. Anyway, this one's set soon after The Christmas One – Alfons still has a cast on, and there's a month left until Al is legal. OH, THE HUMANITY. Extra special thank you to the lovely [livejournal.com profile] powdered_opium for helping me with the end! Ilu, sweetie. ♥

If laptops weren’t so damned expensive that they might as well be made of gold and diamonds with unicorn-hoof plating, Alfons would have thrown his at Al’s head about five minutes ago. )
[Part II]

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: 51% Problem Child (Chapter 1)
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Characters/Pairings: Roy/Ed, Al/Alfons (HELLS YEAH), Hawkeye/Ross; featuring various characters from Brotherhood as well as '03 because all canons should fear me
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 23,850
Warnings: language, teenagers scare the livin' shit out of me, canonsmash, crack and madness, dramaaaaaa
Summary: The homecoming dance follows right on the heels of the first football game, which will make it easy for Roy to remember the date of his own destruction.
Author's Note: Fittingly enough, the first part of this fic had a number of truly wonderful cheerleaders who gave me some incomparably great ideas and brainstorming assistance. You guys know who you are, and hopefully you know how much I appreciate it. :3 ♥♥♥ I would like to make a formal apology for the fact that this cliffhanger is actually worse than the last one – and I'd promise that the next part won't take almost two years to produce, but I always end up a liar when I do that. XD I'm also veryveryvery sorry for the fact that only the first few pieces are coming out today – the later parts need a bit more editing, and I won't have time for that until next weekend. :c The chapter titles are from Florence, 'cause I needed some musical accompaniment to slog through the end of this ridiculous thing. X'D

Alfons is leaning forward, his elbows on his knees and his chin cradled in his hands, gazing out at the football field and looking kind of disconcerted. He glances over at Al. “Are you okay with the fact that the entire school is staring at your brother’s butt?” )

[Back to 65% Cocky Bastard] [On to Chapter 2: Louder Than Bells]

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Antimatter for the Master Plan
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Ed/Hei with Al
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 5,700
Warnings: foul language; off-the-wall AU; guns… lots of guns
Summary: Three boys, one bomb, and a hell of a lot of bullets.
Author's Note: This is for the lovely Neon. It is Killjoys-tastic. I am going to do my absolute damnedest not to let myself write more of this universe, ever. Proceed with caution. XD

Falling in love with Ed is like skydiving off of a very, very low and extremely scenic cliff. )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Auspicious
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Miles/Alfons
Rating: PG
Word Count: 750
Warnings: CANONSMASH!
Summary: First kisses should be a cause for celebration – no?
Author's Note: It was the one-year anniversary of the good ship HeiMiles on the 9th!! \o/ In an effluence of feels, I wrote this piece of crap on Tuesday, in the twenty minutes before work started and then while I was off-stage during a rehearsal that night. Hence the quality or lack thereof. Phin, my forever dude, thank you for everything you are and everything you do. ♥

It’s not that Alfons ever thinks consciously that burying his hands in the white fur lining and clinging to Miles’s lapels is a good idea—it’s just that the world is shaking itself to pieces, and his instinct is to hold to something. )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: The Christmas One
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Miles/Alfons, Roy/Al, possibly Ed/Lan Fan but no one knows
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3,184
Warnings: language, Al is a saucy little bugger
Prompt: It’s Christmas, but who cares really. Playing videogames/watching movies/tv-shows in undies is Christmasy enough right?
Summary: [Further tales from the Modern!AU, following Classifieds, Boy, We're Free, Sometimes Shit Happens, and Ultra-Best-Ever.] If Christmas with the Elrics and their attachés was ever ordinary, the universe would explode.
Author's Note: A Christmas fic for Phindus – broest of bros, adorablest of artists, and everything I ever could have wanted from a Tumblr friend. I hope I've been able to brighten your 2013 at least a little with all my silly crap, and here's to a 2014 full of MOAR HEIMILES – and more laughs and more conversations and more awesome. You rock my world, dude. ♥ (Also, dear readers: if it seems like I'm deliberately sidestepping a Roy-and-band confrontation to maximize the catastrophic potential, that's because that is exactly what I'm doing. :'D)

“Aw, jeez,” Al says two steps into the apartment. “You could at least put some pants on, Brother.” )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Ultra-Best-Ever
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Miles/Alfons
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,530
Warnings: occasional language; those damn teenagers and their damn hormones
Summary: Alfons accidentally gets in way over his head and equally accidentally comes out on top.
Author's Note: This one is actually a prequel to Classifieds, Boy, We're Free, and Sometimes Shit Happens… 'cause I said so. Dearest Phindus, I hope you read my mind and realized that the reason I haven't been fiendishly reblogging all of your recent beautiful art is because I've been hoarding it all and giggling to myself and wanting to write things for it. :') ♥, Tierfal

The whole thing starts because Alfons is a dork and a loser who somehow managed to get the date wrong. )

[A VERY THIS-AU CHRISTMAS]

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Sometimes Shit Happens (and It's Not Anybody's Fault, Okay)
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Roy/Al, Miles/Alfons, Ed/batshit
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 7,760
Warnings: language; cocaína; Al may still be underage depending on your geographical location, so there's that; steamy sexual activity
Summary: Following on after Classifieds and Boy, We're Free: In which Ed's intentions are infallible as he consistently cockblocks everyone.
Author's Note: 1. You know you're marrying the right guy when he sees the first line of this fic in the preview of an email to yourself and reads it aloud, and his only comment is "You're supposed to be working on your novel." 2. If you haven't already guessed that this is a big amalgamation of gorgeous Phindus headcanons and gorgeous Phindus art and not-so-gorgeous Tierfal crack, you must be new around here – RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN. :D 3. Special thank-you to [livejournal.com profile] eltea for Starcraft consultancy. XD''

“The age of consent in this state is sixteen,” Al howls, “and you’re not Mom!” )

[PREQUEL SHENANIGANS]

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Boy, We're Free
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Miles/Alfons, further Al swooning over Roy
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 4,800
Warnings: language, sexual content, substance abuse (on the part of the characters and the author)
Summary: [Follows on after Classifieds.] Alfons goes to pick up his drunk boyfriend. Except that he doesn't have a boyfriend, obviously; what are you talking about?
Author's Note: This may or may not be based in part on my experience walking into 924 Gilman Street wearing a Disney World hoodie. Also, Eddie Money aside, the title is Woodkid, because all of the fic is Woodkid right now. XD'' And it's for Phindus, a.k.a. the bane of my existence, who made this inevitable with gorgeous hipster couple art, (and gorgeous band art!) – and who also came up with pretty much all of the plot points herein the moment that I mentioned designated-driver!Alfons. This dude is the actual best. ♥

The ticket guy at the front desk is eating a sandwich and flipping through a magazine of amps and speakers. )

[BUT WAIT – THERE'S MORE!]

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Four Times Alfons Heiderich Put On a Piece of Someone Else's Clothing
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Miles/Alfons
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,470
Warnings: a smidgeon of language; sexual material; canonsmash!; schmoop; very little editing oh crap
Summary: Four instances of borrowing in which everything was more or less all right.
Author's Note: So… this is for my soul-bro Phindus. (…of course. ♥) Because he can't catch a break; and he is one of the nicest people on the entire internet; and he has the best headcanons ever, and I can't stop trying to write them. One of his gorgeous comics (this one here!) would take place between I. and II., and that's basically how this came about. XD

Every morning, when Alfons wakes, he hopes against hope that this will turn out to be some kind of existentialist nightmare and not his life. )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Classifieds
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: (hilaaaaaariously unrequited) Roy/Al, Miles/Alfons
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,200
Warnings: crack; Al is a little shit (who endorses shotacon); brief language; innuendo for the lulz; have I mentioned I suck at speedfic?
Prompt: this is all the fault of Phindus's completely flawless modern-day AU
Summary: Al is kind of a stalker; Alfons is kind of in love.
Author's Note: I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF. I FOUGHT BRAVELY, BUT I JUST COULDN'T HELP IT. ilu, Phindus; I hope it makes you smile. ^^; Also, I can't believe I didn't write anything about Ed. Still trying to get a handle on him and his mind-bogglingly adorbzorz outfit. So maybe there will be more? idek~~~~ tl;dr it starts with Phindus's fantastic art and just gets crazier from there. XD

Minor setback.  Al has a thousand other cheesy pickup lines where that came from; what else are late-night nineties sitcom reruns for? )

[SEQUEL]

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Good Nights
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Ed/Alfons
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,365
Warnings: major spoilers for '03/CoS, angst, rushy rush rush~, I have a lousy sense of humor
Summary: Ed's a little drunk, and Alfons is a little doomed. [Set shortly before CoS.]
Author's Note: SOMEbody had a birthday. Hope this makes it a little better, sweetie. ♥ This is not the first or the second time I have written the "OTP examines the stars and has an existential conversation" fic, and it won't be the last. \o/

If only the good nights could last forever—if only the engine could just keep growling; if only the road could just keep unfurling; if only the headlamps could just keep pouring two white streams into the dark. )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Conditional
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Miles/Alfons (and past Ed/Alfons)
Rating: light PG-13
Word Count: 810
Warnings: CANONSMASH, schmooooooooooop with a side of angst
Summary: Morning: when the light is palest, and the facts are inescapable.
Author's Note: It's for Phindus, of course! ♥ And also for myself, because sometimes fluff is all I can handle, damn it, and I need to accept that that's okay. X'D

Alfons is used to sharing a small bed with a warm body. )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Should/Might
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Miles/Alfons
Rating: PG
Word Count: 500
Warnings: canonsmash, angstschmoop, brief language
Summary: That's creepy, isn't it?
Author's Note: SHIT, THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE PURE FLUFF. FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WRITE EXHAUSTED. Well, it's for Phindus either way. ;A; ♥~ ETA: Now with gorgeous Phindus art! Kill meeeeeeeeee, I am unworthy—

Miles likes to watch Alfons sleep.  Is that creepy? )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Thaw
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Miles/Alfons
Rating: (light) PG-13
Word Count: 1,580
Warnings: canonsmash, crack!ship turned OTP, brief language, I liked this when I wrote it but now I think it's crap augh
Summary: Surely it's the sweater's fault.
Author's Note: So… this is actually written for Phindus's headcanon! His 'verse is more Alfons dropping into Brotherhood, whereas the one I came up with is more like Briggs grafted onto the CoS canon. AND BOTH ARE AWESOME, so you should come hang out on our ship. XD Anyway, he mentioned Alfons in oversized woolen sweaters, and I was doomed. Dude, you know all my weaknesses. I hope so hard that this makes you smile. ♥♥♥ ETA: Phindus did multiple pieces of fantastic art and I'm so happyyyyyyyy ~♥~

Miles has to be careful. )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Edification
Fandom: FMA
Pairing: Ed/Hei
Rating: extremely light PG-13
Word Count: 800
Warnings: tame sexytimes; schmoop to the nth degree; major spoilers for '03/CoS
Summary: A brief list of things that Alfons can live without.
Author's Note: For Neon! ♥

Alfons misses a lot of things about the world before the War. )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Underneath
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Miles/Alfons
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 500
Warnings: CANONSMASH, I take my crackships seriously, post-coital schmoooooop
Summary: Sometimes fingertips say more than words, and sometimes life offers more than dreams.
Author's Note: For Phindus. Because he's the best. ♥ And because HeiMiles foeva. \o/

Maybe there’s an infinity of heavens out there, if you know where to look. )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Unwound
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Roy/Ed, Ed/Hei
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 5,040
Warnings: language, aaaaaaangst, major SPOILERS for '03/CoS
Prompt: Neon is the birthday girl~
Summary: When the wind stirs, human beings tangle together, and it's hell to pry them loose.
Author's Note: For Neon's birthday! ♥ …uh, late! ♥ …and I know I have a ton of comments to reply to, but I am busy-busy-busy, so I'm going to throw this fic as far as I can and run in the opposite direction please enjoy a hopeful-ending angstbucket in the meantime! ♥

It’s the wind that does it.  Oh, God, if there is any justice in the world, it’s the wind; it’s not some festering infection inside of him that will hound him to his grave. )

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