[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Retroactive Brilliance
Fandom: Voltron
Pairing: Shiro/Keith
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,630
Warnings: CRACK AND SAUCINESS
Summary: In an act of extremely thirsty desperation, Keith hatches a plan.
Author's Note: You can blame this on Snapchat filters, my beautiful friend, and my lack of impulse control. Whatever you do, don't read it. :'D

Keith was out of ideas.  None of his extremely subtle hints seemed to be landing; he had to try a different tack. )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Choose Your Own Rainbow
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: pre-Roy/Ed
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 15,600
Warnings: language; absurdity; I did, like, two Google searches on some of this stuff and then left it at that because Roy is kind of a poser anyway?; this needs a lot more editing but ain't nobody got time for that; modern AU
Summary: Edward Elric has the most singular talent of anyone alive for taking Roy's zen, thrashing it thoroughly, and then hurling it into a Dumpster. …metaphysically speaking, anyway.
Author's Note: A now extremely late birthday present for Obersten!!!!! ♥ Based on his ridiculously A+ Downward Dogs AU – the premise is founded in some intel I acquired from Secret Insider Sources, and then I made up everything else. :'D tl;dr if you like a detail/aspect of this, it's probably Berg's; if you're like "wtf is this shit," it's probably one of my additions. X'D (Or it's one of the things I half-assedly pretended to research! I am a pro at this writing shit.)

Today Roy is going to tell Ed how stupid it is to hate on chakra beads. )

[Part 2]

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: 51% Problem Child (Chapter 1)
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Characters/Pairings: Roy/Ed, Al/Alfons (HELLS YEAH), Hawkeye/Ross; featuring various characters from Brotherhood as well as '03 because all canons should fear me
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 23,850
Warnings: language, teenagers scare the livin' shit out of me, canonsmash, crack and madness, dramaaaaaa
Summary: The homecoming dance follows right on the heels of the first football game, which will make it easy for Roy to remember the date of his own destruction.
Author's Note: Fittingly enough, the first part of this fic had a number of truly wonderful cheerleaders who gave me some incomparably great ideas and brainstorming assistance. You guys know who you are, and hopefully you know how much I appreciate it. :3 ♥♥♥ I would like to make a formal apology for the fact that this cliffhanger is actually worse than the last one – and I'd promise that the next part won't take almost two years to produce, but I always end up a liar when I do that. XD I'm also veryveryvery sorry for the fact that only the first few pieces are coming out today – the later parts need a bit more editing, and I won't have time for that until next weekend. :c The chapter titles are from Florence, 'cause I needed some musical accompaniment to slog through the end of this ridiculous thing. X'D

Alfons is leaning forward, his elbows on his knees and his chin cradled in his hands, gazing out at the football field and looking kind of disconcerted. He glances over at Al. “Are you okay with the fact that the entire school is staring at your brother’s butt?” )

[Back to 65% Cocky Bastard] [On to Chapter 2: Louder Than Bells]

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Sometimes Shit Happens (and It's Not Anybody's Fault, Okay)
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Roy/Al, Miles/Alfons, Ed/batshit
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 7,760
Warnings: language; cocaína; Al may still be underage depending on your geographical location, so there's that; steamy sexual activity
Summary: Following on after Classifieds and Boy, We're Free: In which Ed's intentions are infallible as he consistently cockblocks everyone.
Author's Note: 1. You know you're marrying the right guy when he sees the first line of this fic in the preview of an email to yourself and reads it aloud, and his only comment is "You're supposed to be working on your novel." 2. If you haven't already guessed that this is a big amalgamation of gorgeous Phindus headcanons and gorgeous Phindus art and not-so-gorgeous Tierfal crack, you must be new around here – RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN. :D 3. Special thank-you to [livejournal.com profile] eltea for Starcraft consultancy. XD''

“The age of consent in this state is sixteen,” Al howls, “and you’re not Mom!” )

[PREQUEL SHENANIGANS]

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Boy, We're Free
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Miles/Alfons, further Al swooning over Roy
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 4,800
Warnings: language, sexual content, substance abuse (on the part of the characters and the author)
Summary: [Follows on after Classifieds.] Alfons goes to pick up his drunk boyfriend. Except that he doesn't have a boyfriend, obviously; what are you talking about?
Author's Note: This may or may not be based in part on my experience walking into 924 Gilman Street wearing a Disney World hoodie. Also, Eddie Money aside, the title is Woodkid, because all of the fic is Woodkid right now. XD'' And it's for Phindus, a.k.a. the bane of my existence, who made this inevitable with gorgeous hipster couple art, (and gorgeous band art!) – and who also came up with pretty much all of the plot points herein the moment that I mentioned designated-driver!Alfons. This dude is the actual best. ♥

The ticket guy at the front desk is eating a sandwich and flipping through a magazine of amps and speakers. )

[BUT WAIT – THERE'S MORE!]

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Classifieds
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: (hilaaaaaariously unrequited) Roy/Al, Miles/Alfons
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,200
Warnings: crack; Al is a little shit (who endorses shotacon); brief language; innuendo for the lulz; have I mentioned I suck at speedfic?
Prompt: this is all the fault of Phindus's completely flawless modern-day AU
Summary: Al is kind of a stalker; Alfons is kind of in love.
Author's Note: I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF. I FOUGHT BRAVELY, BUT I JUST COULDN'T HELP IT. ilu, Phindus; I hope it makes you smile. ^^; Also, I can't believe I didn't write anything about Ed. Still trying to get a handle on him and his mind-bogglingly adorbzorz outfit. So maybe there will be more? idek~~~~ tl;dr it starts with Phindus's fantastic art and just gets crazier from there. XD

Minor setback.  Al has a thousand other cheesy pickup lines where that came from; what else are late-night nineties sitcom reruns for? )

[SEQUEL]

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Qualified
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Roy/girl!Ed if you squint
Rating: light PG-13
Word Count: 760
Warnings: language galore; general lasciviousness on the parts of (a) Roy, (b) Havoc, (c) the author
Prompt: Kyri made me do it
Summary: Orbin's interview does not exactly go according to plan.
Author's Note: …okay, I did it entirely voluntarily because Kyri is awesome. ♥ ETA: she made a post with gorgeous art which helps explain the headcanon!

This might just be the most important day of Corporal Orbin Crossley’s entire life. )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Raining Cats and Dogs
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: (sorta) Roy/neko!Al
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,275
Warnings: language, crack, NEKO (WHAT AM I DOING), minor spoilers for '03/CoS 'verse
Prompt: courtesy of Hales, who is going to be the death of my fanfic reputation wait I don't have one me
Summary: Roy is woken in the middle of the night by the strangest thing he never dreamed of.
Author's Note: Absurd speedfic which was written in a document indicatively titled "stupid goddamn neko al why" after being inspired by amazing (nsfw) fanart. LOOK AT MY LIFE. LOOK AT MY CHOICES.

Roy is getting too goddamned old for erratic pounding at the door after midnight. )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: 65% Cocky Bastard
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Characters/Pairing: Team Mustang, Ed, Al, and Alfons, with a smudge of Roy/Ed
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3,750
Warnings: language, oh my God a high school AU really, general immaturity
Prompt: this effing post jfdksljflsa
Summary: Roy is on the high school homestretch with his sanity intact… right up until he meets the new kid.
Author's Note: 1. Nobody will be surprised to know that Tumblr is responsible for this – specifically, Crow and Panda. DAMN IT, YOU GUYS. ♥ 2. I unashamedly set this at my old high school, which is built on hills, hence all the stairs and the multiple buildings and the not-entirely-typical(?) high school layout. ^^; 3. I was going to refuse to write more, then I made the mistake of telling [livejournal.com profile] eltea that I'd gotten started, and she handed me more bunnies, so… I have to hold off until late December, but it's very likely that more of this stupid 'verse will happen. XD

Blondes.  Blondes with nice asses.  Blondes with nice asses are going to be the end of Roy, and he knows it. )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: The Bridegroom: Episode 5
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 6,860
Warnings: language, sexual situations, blasphemy, general inappropriateness, black-and-orange cocaine
Prompt: fancy dress party at [livejournal.com profile] pulped_fictions
Summary: Desperate times call for desperate measures on The Bridegroom.  Good thing Belial is wearing his Big Demon Panties.
Author's Note:  It is so, so dangerous to go alone.  Enter at your own risk if you haven't seen the rest of the season: Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 3.5, Episode 4, and Episode 4.5.  Since it’s been, uh, almost eight months since we last joined our intrepid reality TV heroes: The last we saw of the crew, they were out in Yucca, Belial's elaborate fake mining town, attempting to improvise a movie.  Lots of things went horribly wrong (as always), culminating in Rosalie getting tied up and left in the fake mine shaft; during Maion's rescue attempt, an explosive went off, and surviving his burial in the rubble deprived him of the last of his angel powers.

Maion hates the hospital more than he hates graffiti, noise pollution, and litter. )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: The Delicious Baked Good Is a Lie
Rating: PG
Word Count: 647
Warnings: is it still crack if they're exactly like this in canon?; brief language; general trauma
Prompt: pies at [livejournal.com profile] pulped_fictions
Summary: Some questions should never have to be answered. "What's the worst thing a Knight of Hell could put into a pie box?" is one of them.
Author's Note: …this is more like it. XD (Catch-up: Belial is a demon; Maion is a seraph; Vincent is a vampire; and Edward is a werewolf who works as a high-school janitor.)

In the approximately four billion years of his existence, Maion does not think he has ever seen a pink box inspire so much terror. )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist X Supernatural (+ a billion others)
Pairings: Roy/Ed, Dean/Cas, Sam/Al, Gabriel/the lulz
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 13,964
Warnings: language, much talk of sex, crack-cocaine in fic format, traumatic pop culture references, sorta-semi-kinda-not-really spoilers through SPN S5
Summary: The lives of several scholarship students at the multiverse-renowned Crossover University converge, resulting in mass chaos and a great deal of caffeine consumption.
Author's Note: ♥ to [livejournal.com profile] eltea for being kind enough to beta-read and HTML-alize for me after handing me this bunny and following its ungodly growth in disjointed updates for several weeks. XD
Items of interest are as follows:
1. THIS IS MADNESS.  That's kind of the point. :D  Please proceed accordingly. ♥
2. Café Olé is fictional.  In-N-Out Burger is not.  Unsurprisingly, my brain located Crossover University in Northern California, although I'm anticipating that everyone will picture their own alma mater, which I think is awesome. ^^
3. Welcome to THE CAMEO GAME!  You play by identifying as many cameos as you can!  Leave me a comment here (anon is fully-enabled, like Roy's caffeine addiction) mentioning that you're going to play, and then PM me here or message me on Tumblr to tell me which ones you've found.  If you would be so kind, number them and quote or paraphrase each description so that I can keep track of your score.  Note: I'm defining a cameo as a visit by or a specific mention of an individual.  Since Lord of the Rings, for instance, is a part of the universe, someone talking about Bilbo as a character doesn't count.  The same goes for Al's cat's name, etc.  Note the Second: There are a grand total of 30 cameos from all kinds of media… plus one that's ~*~special~*~, and by "special" I mean kind of cheating. Just have fun! ♥

4. Happy FMA Don't-Forget Day/début of SPN season 8! \o/


Al tucks the lockpicks back into his pocket and sorts through the files in the drawer, which is a bit of a challenge with gloves on. )

[PART II]

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: A Father-Son Thing
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Characters/Pairing: Hohenheim, Al, Roy/Ed
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,400
Warnings: language, Hohenheim/awkward is my OTP, MAJOR spoilers for Brotherhood
Summary: Van Hohenheim gives his elder son the Talk.
Author's Note: …don't look at me like that.

Nothing in four-hundred wide-ranging and extremely varied years could have prepared Van Hohenheim for this. )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Greeks Bearing Gifts
Rating: R
Word Count: 1,078
Warnings: threesome sexytimes, remarkably uncouth terminology in multiple languages
Prompt: Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself. -- Helen Rowland at [livejournal.com profile] pulped_fictions
Summary: Belial shows Maion and Vincent how to party like it's 776 BC.
Author's Note: Uh… Belial/Maion/Vincent. It's [livejournal.com profile] eltea's fault YOU'RE WELCOME.

The only thing worse than drinking with a demon is drinking with the demon who owns the bar. )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Sin to Win
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Characters: lightly Roy/Hawkeye, Breda, Havoc, Fuery, Falman, Armstrong, Hughes, Ed, Al
Rating: PG
Word Count: 6,039
Warnings: a bit of PG-13 language, very light kink, mild spoilers for Brotherhood backstory, craaaaaaack~
Summary: Everyone in Colonel Mustang's employ embarks on a mission of vice-achievement. Chaos ensues.
Author's Note: This was inspired by [livejournal.com profile] teenelizabeth, who described Sin to Win being played in one of her workplaces and encouraged me when my predictable response was "FMA CROSSOVER PLZ????" And it would have languished interminably on my hard-drive if not for the amazing cheerleading of [livejournal.com profile] eltea. ♥

“Human Resources just released the results of a survey,” Roy says, “and morale in the Central Command workplace is at an all-time low.” )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Extracurricular Activities
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Roy/Ed/Al, Roy/Hawkeye, Riza/Rebecca (LOL BUT REALLY)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,072
Warnings: major SPOILERS for Brotherhood; some language; the über-sketch
Prompt: "comfort food"
Summary: General Roy Mustang has an unexpectedly nice night.
Author's Note: My pairing sensibilities in this fandom fall somewhere between omnishipping and a cast-wide orgy.

If Brigadier-General Roy Mustang collapses from exhaustion at some point this week, Riza has orders to ensure that the obituary includes the line 'Tragically, the insufferably sexy young officer simply worked himself to death in his noble quest to better the country and the world'. )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: The Bridegroom: Episode 4.5
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3,519
Warnings: language, sexual situations, blasphemy, inappropriateness… oh, and CRACK
Prompt: catastrophic at [livejournal.com profile] pulped_fictions
Summary: In Yucca, the fake mining town Belial has populated with Bridegroom candidates, the game is thoroughly afoot. Unfortunately, Maion is in a little—no, a lot—too deep.
Author's Note: New? It's pretty much me snorting lines off of my own ego. :'D Previous Episodes: One, Two, Three, Three-anna-Half, and Four. Also: (1) extra-mega-uber ♥s to [livejournal.com profile] eltea for helping me excise the shitty part; (2) this segment tips the Bridegroom wordcount total over 30,000; (3) HEY, YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME ♥; (4) I've already written the first two sentences of Episode 5, although I'm afraid I can't project a posting date. XD

The scent henceforth known as Trouble rises from her everywhere—some critical part of Vincent’s psyche vanishes into the maelstrom of warm hands, soft mouth, skipping pulse. )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: The Bridegroom: Episode 4
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 10,503
Warnings: language, sexual situations, blasphemy, inappropriateness
Prompt: Western, offensive and prim and proper, and 'The Smell of Trouble' at [livejournal.com profile] pulped_fictions
Summary: Belial drags the Bridegroom cast out to a fake mining town and coerces all of the candidates into filming an improvised Western. To say that this will end badly is understating matters a bit.
Author's Note: This may be disorienting without previous Bridegroom experience. XD Also, there's tons more on the way; it wouldn't fit in one entry! *dies* (Also, Episodes One, Two, Three, and Three-Point-Five. XD)

Even by the standards Belial has set with unparalleled vigor, this is a terrible idea. )

[Episode 4.5]

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: The Mustache Mission
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Characters: Ed, Al, Roy, Hawkeye, Havoc, Falman, Fuery, Breda
Rating: PG
Word Count: 4,616
Warnings: major SPOILERS through Brotherhood; craaaaaaaack; a bit of PG-13 language; oh, poor Havoc; Roy, you perv ♥; secretly-evil!Al is my favorite
Summary: Ed and Al have no idea what they're getting into when they let Major Hawkeye recruit them one last time.
Author's Note: This is [livejournal.com profile] powdered_opium's fault. :P And a little bit [livejournal.com profile] koneko_zero's, and a lot bit [livejournal.com profile] icequeenrex's. XD It also owes a great deal to [livejournal.com profile] eltea, whose encouragement was instrumental in getting its incredibly lame author to finish it. ♥ For the record, I have nothing against facial hair in principle; if you have also deplored the the Denial Mustache, you understand. XD

Ed has barely started knocking when Havoc opens the door. )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Good Soldiers
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairings/Characters: girl!Roy/girl!Ed, dude!Hawkeye/girl!Roy, girl!Al
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3,219
Warnings: language, mild sexytimes, confused feminism, sheer lack of tact, plentiful cocaine
Summary: Ed is even easier to offend as a girl; Al, likewise, is even more put-upon; Roy is even more evil as a chick; and Hawkeye is even more patient as a dude.
Author's Note: So originally, this was inspired by a kinkmeme prompt asking for "bitchy girl!Roy/girl!Ed." Then it got distracted. Then I dragged it closer to the target again. XD It is, of course, influenced by Flame Vs. Fullmetal – Revisited, which epitomizes all of the glorious, addictive batshittery that is FMA genderswap. :'D …it's also totally [livejournal.com profile] eltea's fault. TOTALLY. Special thank you to [livejournal.com profile] icequeenrex, [livejournal.com profile] powdered_opium, and [livejournal.com profile] koneko_zero for listening to me read out the first part. XD ♥;

Al hates her sister’s meetings with Colonel Mustang. The colonel herself clearly cherishes them. )

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