[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: With Fries
Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Characters/Pairing: Lance, Hunk, & Pidge with low-key Shiro/Keith and Lance hate!crushin' on the mullet
Rating: PG
Word Count: 5,390
Warnings: pointless modern!AU; Lance is my favorite dweeb in the history of dweebness
Summary: This summer gig could be worse, but only if it made a concerted effort and believed in itself and wished upon a star.
Author's Note: Hello, Voltron fandom; my name is Tierfal, and I like modern!AUs, stupid puns, and sassy space children. :'D

Another day, another dance with the deep-fryer. )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Choose Your Own Rainbow
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: pre-Roy/Ed
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 15,600
Warnings: language; absurdity; I did, like, two Google searches on some of this stuff and then left it at that because Roy is kind of a poser anyway?; this needs a lot more editing but ain't nobody got time for that; modern AU
Summary: Edward Elric has the most singular talent of anyone alive for taking Roy's zen, thrashing it thoroughly, and then hurling it into a Dumpster. …metaphysically speaking, anyway.
Author's Note: A now extremely late birthday present for Obersten!!!!! ♥ Based on his ridiculously A+ Downward Dogs AU – the premise is founded in some intel I acquired from Secret Insider Sources, and then I made up everything else. :'D tl;dr if you like a detail/aspect of this, it's probably Berg's; if you're like "wtf is this shit," it's probably one of my additions. X'D (Or it's one of the things I half-assedly pretended to research! I am a pro at this writing shit.)

Today Roy is going to tell Ed how stupid it is to hate on chakra beads. )

[Part 2]

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Winging It
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Roy/Ed
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 4,100
Warnings: language; innuendo; pointless and unnecessary modern!AU volume LXVIII
Summary: Strangely enough, this is the one time Roy didn't expect to be cruising at 37,000 feet.
Author's Note: This fic happened because airline travel makes me a salty bitch, so when I was leaving for my grandmother's funeral and saw a girl curling her hair in the airport bathroom, my first thought was "Do you think you're going to find your damn soulmate on the plane?" My second thought was "ROY/ED AU WHERE ED HAS A PHOBIA OF FLYING!!!!" …and now we're here. Don't worry; karma made sure I caught the Plague on my way back. :|

There are two problems with the young man sitting in the window seat when Roy settles down next to the aisle for the first leg of his flight. )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Purrtinent Objections
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Roy/Ed/Al
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 5,025
Warnings: extreme amounts of domestic fluff; sorta-BH spoilers; the usual Ed + F-bombs = ♥; rush-written! rush-edited! #YOLOSWAG
Summary: Al has his eyes on a kitten. Roy's grateful he still has both eyes.
Author's Note: A birthday present for Hales! ♥ ……because barftastic OT3 fluff, that's why. Another one of those inexplicable post-Brotherhood AUs where everything is how I like it because I said so. :'D Al got so sassy so fast I just… let him. I wasn't feeling brave enough to step in front of that freight train. O__o

Ed’s head lifts before Roy’s even processed the extremely faint scratching emanating from somewhere down the front hall. )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Flying Horses
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Roy/Ed
Rating: PG
Word Count: 3,600 (of 20,000 in total)
Warnings: brush your goddamn teeth after consuming; periodic PG-13 language and themes
Prompt: AU for Roy/Ed Week
Summary: The carousel attendant puts a hell of a twist into Roy's and Elysia's serene little Saturday routine – but Roy Mustang isn't likely to strike on happiness until barnyard animals take to the summer skies.
Author's Note: Soooooooo about twelve years ago, it was Silver's birthday, and I was like, "Hey, an excuse to write one of my irrepressible kidfic plotbunnies!", because for some reason Roy adopting Elysia after the Hugheses die in a horrible accident is, like, my jam. I am messed up. It's true. :'D ANYWAY, the park depicted in this fic is about a mile away from my apartment, so I can always hear the train whistle when I take a shower on the weekends, and it sorta got away from me from there. I mean that. The majority of this is utterly superfluous marshmallow fluff. XD Buuuuuut I hope my cinnamon roll Silver gets a smile out of it, in any case! ♥

It’s overcast, and the chill in the air has kept most of the local families inside—which suits Roy just fine; it means there’s no line at the carousel. )

[Part II]

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Head Over Heels
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Roy/Ed
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2,700
Warnings: language (very not PG :'D); post-some-canon AU; crap-ass barely-edited speedfic ahoy!
Prompt: people saying things and thinking they're normal because they're concussed and HILARITY ENSUES
Summary: Roy gets a head wound; Ed gets a headache.
Author's Note: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HACHA!!!!! ♥♥♥ You rock my socks, friend. ;___; Hope you had a good one! Special thanks to my bb Mthaytr for rescuing this silly thing. XDDDD

Roy’s first thought is That could have gone better. )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Foal Play
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Roy/Ed
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,700
Warnings: death by schmoop; unseemly language
Summary: A fairly average night upon which Ed muses about fiction and prods his significant other.
Author's Note: This fragment of pointless fluff is for the staggeringly wonderful mthaytr, who has been putting up with me quite a bit lately and makes me smile a hell of a lot. ♥;

The fact is that Roy likes reading trashy novels. )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Circumstantial
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Roy/Ed
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,150
Warnings: language; mentions of smex; major spoilers for Brotherhood
Summary: Occasionally there are things that Ed really needs to not-exactly-say so that Roy will not-exactly-hear them.
Author's Note: So I got to chapters 5 and 6 of Impetus ad Hominem on Thursday and was SO FURIOUS at how well my dear friend Mthaytr tortures these two hopeless pieces of shit that I had to lie in bed brainstorming stupid fluff for half an hour before I could let go of my rage and sleep. :'DDD Timed out kinda nice, though, I guess. XD Aaaaand it's post-Brotherhood not-too-AU something something… whatever. X'D Enjoy! ♥

Ed slides his left hand across the two or three inches of empty mattress until he reaches Roy’s forearm. )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Plus Tax
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Roy/Ed
Rating: light PG-13
Word Count: 2,400
Warnings: unabashedly stupid modern!AU, Ed's mouth/internal monologue, the answer to the question "Do you even edit anymore?" is something along the lines of "Hahahahaha"
Summary: Ed is having a crappy, crappy night at his crappy, crappy Walgreens job.
Author's Note: I was reading Not Always Right because I wasn't using that faith in humanity anyway, and then… this one… just… inspired this fic. And I was powerless to stop it. FML. If it reeks of Loud and Clear!Ed's narrative voice, I'm sure that is a coincidence; it's not like I've written 30,000 words of that stupid fic in the last month or anything… -___-''

Ed has been in this godforsaken store covering other people’s shifts on his usual day off for nine hours and forty-five minutes when the guy comes up to the counter. )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Happenings
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Hughes/Roy
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,450
Warnings: language; spoilers for the OVA?; writing so shoddy its shoddiness is exceeded only by the somehow-even-shoddier editing
Summary: Maes somehow ends up making out with Mustang in a janitor's closet, which is apparently the least-weird thing the guy is capable of.
Author's Note: I wrote a thing for Hughes Week! HOLY CRAP, A DEADLINE I DIDN'T MISS! Cherish this moment; we'll never get another.

It’s not that Mustang isn’t attractive as all get-out—he definitely is—it’s just… )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: 51% Problem Child (Chapter 1)
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Characters/Pairings: Roy/Ed, Al/Alfons (HELLS YEAH), Hawkeye/Ross; featuring various characters from Brotherhood as well as '03 because all canons should fear me
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 23,850
Warnings: language, teenagers scare the livin' shit out of me, canonsmash, crack and madness, dramaaaaaa
Summary: The homecoming dance follows right on the heels of the first football game, which will make it easy for Roy to remember the date of his own destruction.
Author's Note: Fittingly enough, the first part of this fic had a number of truly wonderful cheerleaders who gave me some incomparably great ideas and brainstorming assistance. You guys know who you are, and hopefully you know how much I appreciate it. :3 ♥♥♥ I would like to make a formal apology for the fact that this cliffhanger is actually worse than the last one – and I'd promise that the next part won't take almost two years to produce, but I always end up a liar when I do that. XD I'm also veryveryvery sorry for the fact that only the first few pieces are coming out today – the later parts need a bit more editing, and I won't have time for that until next weekend. :c The chapter titles are from Florence, 'cause I needed some musical accompaniment to slog through the end of this ridiculous thing. X'D

Alfons is leaning forward, his elbows on his knees and his chin cradled in his hands, gazing out at the football field and looking kind of disconcerted. He glances over at Al. “Are you okay with the fact that the entire school is staring at your brother’s butt?” )

[Back to 65% Cocky Bastard] [On to Chapter 2: Louder Than Bells]

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Sappily Ever After
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Roy/Ed
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 12,400
Warnings: language, nauseating quantities of schmoop, lots and lots of sexytalk, AU but with major spoilers for Brotherhood
Prompt: Roy/Ed wedding. And everything is fluffy and everyone lives happily ever after *___*
Summary: Ed and Roy are going to get married. At least theoretically speaking…
Author's Note: MERRY EXTREMELY LATE CHRISTMAS, [livejournal.com profile] paranormalpanda! ♥♥♥ To show you how much I love you, I broke my brain dedicating more thought to my OTP's fictional wedding in the past month and a half than I have done to my IRL wedding over the last year. :'D Mega-thanks to the inimitable Phindus, who very kindly helped me brainstorm hilarity for this fic and accordingly received a ridiculous cameo. *brofist* ♥ I'm so sorry for the massive delay; Edblog pretty much assassinated my productivity on real fic, but fortunately I discovered a new unrepentant OTP fluff anthem, which helped a little. ;A; I hope it's worth the wait!! ♥♥♥

Ed drums his metal fingers on the table and pointedly narrows his eyes. )

[PART II]

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Mysteries of the Universe
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Roy/Ed
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,230
Warnings: impressively bad language even by Ed's standards!; completely unrepentant domestic fluff~~
Summary: Ed does not want the damn cat.
Author's Note: Stupid Edblog has lately made me very BAD at sitting down and writing actual fic, so I tried to shake myself out of the habit a little by writing a thing for Pax. (Because SQUEEEEE!)

“Fuck this shit,” Ed says. “No. No way.” )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: The Christmas One
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Miles/Alfons, Roy/Al, possibly Ed/Lan Fan but no one knows
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3,184
Warnings: language, Al is a saucy little bugger
Prompt: It’s Christmas, but who cares really. Playing videogames/watching movies/tv-shows in undies is Christmasy enough right?
Summary: [Further tales from the Modern!AU, following Classifieds, Boy, We're Free, Sometimes Shit Happens, and Ultra-Best-Ever.] If Christmas with the Elrics and their attachés was ever ordinary, the universe would explode.
Author's Note: A Christmas fic for Phindus – broest of bros, adorablest of artists, and everything I ever could have wanted from a Tumblr friend. I hope I've been able to brighten your 2013 at least a little with all my silly crap, and here's to a 2014 full of MOAR HEIMILES – and more laughs and more conversations and more awesome. You rock my world, dude. ♥ (Also, dear readers: if it seems like I'm deliberately sidestepping a Roy-and-band confrontation to maximize the catastrophic potential, that's because that is exactly what I'm doing. :'D)

“Aw, jeez,” Al says two steps into the apartment. “You could at least put some pants on, Brother.” )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: If at First You Don't Succeed
Fandom: Death Note x Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Matt/Mello, with Roy(/Ed)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,263
Warnings: language; Mello
Prompt: Matt and Mello (and Near, I suppose) as crazy genius alchemists? If you wanna work in Roy or someone, go crazy, but Matt and Mello would make things go boom in spectacular fashions.
Summary: …try again. Fail better.
Author's Note: Christmas fic for the beautiful, brilliant, fantasmic [livejournal.com profile] callunavulgari. ♥♥♥ (Hopefully it'll tide you over until your birthday present gets mailed out because I SUCK! ♥) For bonus points: this could be a prequel to the crossover from two years ago, if anyone is inclined; and if anyone is inclined to wonder whether Mello and Ed would get along famously, last year answered that one. XD''

“I don’t know about this, Mel,” Matt says. )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Tradition
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Roy/Ed
Rating: PG
Word Count: 928
Warnings: brief language, unrepentant fluff
Prompt: I place the blame for this squarely on Rose and Hales. ♥
Summary: Maes has Christmas gifts. And a death wish.
Author's Note: 'TIS THE SEASON FOR STUPID FLUFF FIC, FA LA LA LA LA…

Accepting gifts from Maes Hughes is not unlike being handed an undetonated bomb which may or may not have been defused, the status of which you will not be able to ascertain until you dismantle it and risk obliteration. )

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Ultra-Best-Ever
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Miles/Alfons
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,530
Warnings: occasional language; those damn teenagers and their damn hormones
Summary: Alfons accidentally gets in way over his head and equally accidentally comes out on top.
Author's Note: This one is actually a prequel to Classifieds, Boy, We're Free, and Sometimes Shit Happens… 'cause I said so. Dearest Phindus, I hope you read my mind and realized that the reason I haven't been fiendishly reblogging all of your recent beautiful art is because I've been hoarding it all and giggling to myself and wanting to write things for it. :') ♥, Tierfal

The whole thing starts because Alfons is a dork and a loser who somehow managed to get the date wrong. )

[A VERY THIS-AU CHRISTMAS]

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: No Comment
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Roy/Ed, Al/cats
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 5,490
Warnings: language; fade-to-black sexytimes; sheer madness; major spoilers for Brotherhood
Summary: Even the honesty game and a supremely awkward museum party can't break Ed's stride these days.
Author's Note: Yet another follow-on to Leading the Blind, after In the Shadow of Your Heart, No Dawn, No Day, They Have All Been Blown Out, and Hard-Pressed – as a very belated birthday gift for the lovely and fantastic [livejournal.com profile] dragonimp! ♥♥♥

Ed picks up the pile of glowing papers in Roy’s lap, deposits them on the coffee table, lays down across Roy’s knees, gets cozy, retrieves the papers, sets them down on his own stomach, and wrangles his book off of the couch arm to hold it up to read. )

[BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE]

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Sometimes Shit Happens (and It's Not Anybody's Fault, Okay)
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Roy/Al, Miles/Alfons, Ed/batshit
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 7,760
Warnings: language; cocaína; Al may still be underage depending on your geographical location, so there's that; steamy sexual activity
Summary: Following on after Classifieds and Boy, We're Free: In which Ed's intentions are infallible as he consistently cockblocks everyone.
Author's Note: 1. You know you're marrying the right guy when he sees the first line of this fic in the preview of an email to yourself and reads it aloud, and his only comment is "You're supposed to be working on your novel." 2. If you haven't already guessed that this is a big amalgamation of gorgeous Phindus headcanons and gorgeous Phindus art and not-so-gorgeous Tierfal crack, you must be new around here – RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN. :D 3. Special thank-you to [livejournal.com profile] eltea for Starcraft consultancy. XD''

“The age of consent in this state is sixteen,” Al howls, “and you’re not Mom!” )

[PREQUEL SHENANIGANS]

[identity profile] tierfal.livejournal.com
Title: Doing Romance
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Pairing: Roy/Ed
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,400
Warnings: language, much discussion of The Sex
Summary: In which Ed struggles mightily with the revered traditions of classical courtship.
Author's Note: Speeeeeeeedfiiiiiiiic for Pax! ♥

Ed pauses. He glances sideways at Roy, surreptitiously, through his hair. )

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